Start with the doctor comparison
Most kids already understand this one. When you're sick, the doctor might take your temperature, listen to your lungs, or do a quick test. They don't do it to give you a grade. They do it so they know which medicine will help you feel better.
Psychological testing works the same way. It helps us understand how your child's brain learns, pays attention, and handles feelings, so the adults around them know how to help. The point isn't the result. It's what we do with it: feeling better, doing better in school, getting along better with friends, or performing better in sports and activities.
What to say, by age
Ages 8 to 12
- "You know how the doctor does tests to figure out how to help when you're sick? This is like that, but for how your brain works."
- "You'll do puzzles, games, and questions with someone whose job is to understand how kids learn and think."
- "It's not a test you can pass or fail, and you don't need to study. Just try your best."
- "Some parts will feel easy and some will feel hard. That's on purpose, and it's okay."
- "We're doing this because we want school (or homework, or friendships) to feel easier for you."
Teens
Teens want to be included, not managed. Talk with them, not at them, and ask what they'd like to understand about themselves.
- "You've said focusing in class is really frustrating. Testing could help us figure out why, and what would actually help."
- "It's not about putting a label on you. It's about getting you the right tools, like accommodations at school or strategies that work for your brain."
- "Your results are about you, and we'll go through them together. You'll have a say in what happens next."
When testing is for mood or behavior
Many families come to us because of mood or behavior: sadness, worry, irritability, meltdowns, defiance, or trouble at school. These can be the hardest evaluations to explain, because kids often already feel like they're "the problem." The goal is to show them it's the opposite: you're trying to understand what's hard for them so they can feel better.
Behavior is usually a sign of something underneath. Meltdowns, arguing, or shutting down can come from anxiety, depression, attention or learning struggles, sensory overload, stress, or a mix. Testing helps sort out which, so the plan fits. Why the same behavior can have different causes.
What to say
- "You've been having a lot of big feelings lately, and that seems really hard. We want to understand what's going on so we can help."
- "You're not in trouble. When something keeps being hard, it usually means we haven't found the right kind of help yet."
- "Remember how the doctor checks what's making you sick before picking a medicine? This helps us figure out what's making things feel so hard, so we can pick what will help."
- For teens: "It seems like things have been heavy for a while. I don't think it's about you trying harder. I'd like us to get a clearer picture, so you can get support that actually fits."
What helps
- Separate the child from the behavior. Talk about the struggle ("the anger," "the worry") as something you'll tackle together, not as who they are.
- Pick a calm moment. Don't bring it up during or right after a meltdown or argument, when it can sound like a punishment.
- Validate first. "That sounds really frustrating" goes further than "this is why you need testing."
- Expect some resistance. Kids who feel blamed may push back. Stay calm, keep it short, and come back to it later.
- Be honest about questions. Your child may be asked about feelings, friends, school, and home. Let them know there are no wrong answers and it's okay to be honest.
Results from a mood or behavior evaluation can guide therapy, support at home, and plans at school, such as a 504 plan or IEP. They also highlight what your child does well, which matters a lot to kids who hear mostly about what's going wrong.
If your child talks about hurting themselves or not wanting to be alive, don't wait for testing. Call or text 988 (988 Colorado Mental Health Line), any time, day or night. In an emergency, call 911.
What to avoid
- Don't make it a surprise. Tell your child a few days ahead, and answer their questions honestly.
- Don't frame it as a consequence. Testing isn't because they're in trouble or did something wrong.
- Don't call it "seeing if something is wrong with you." Focus on understanding and helping instead.
- Don't promise it will be short or fun. Be honest: it takes a few hours, there are breaks, and they can bring a snack.
- Don't coach or quiz them. There's nothing to prepare, and practice can make results less accurate.
Answering common questions
- "Is something wrong with me?" "No. Everyone's brain works a little differently. This helps us understand how yours works best."
- "Will it hurt?" "No. No shots or anything like that. It's talking, puzzles, and questions."
- "Will my friends know?" "Only if you decide to tell them. It's private."
- "What if I get answers wrong?" "Everyone does. Some questions are meant to be too hard, so we can see where your brain is working hardest."
The day of testing
A good night's sleep, a normal breakfast, and a snack and water in the bag go a long way. If your child takes stimulant medication, they should not take it on the day of testing; talk with their prescriber first. Let us know about any worries ahead of time so we can help your child feel comfortable. Full checklist for testing day.
After testing: talking about the results
At the feedback session, we go through the results with you in plain language. We can also talk about how to share them with your child in a way that fits their age.
- Lead with strengths. Every evaluation finds them, and kids need to hear them first.
- Treat a diagnosis as an explanation, not an identity. "This explains why reading feels so tiring. Now we know what will help."
- Go straight to the plan. Talk about what will change: support at school, new strategies at home, or therapy.
- Keep the door open. Kids often come back with questions days later. That's a good sign.
We test children 8 and older, teens, and adults at our Arvada office. For children 4 to 7, we recommend our partner practice, Rock Springs Psychological Testing Center. Learn about psychological testing at WPS.